babies were throwing up all over the place
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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