I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
