The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
