I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
