You made me cry and you don't even care
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
