I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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