That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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