i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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