He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
