i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
