i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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