while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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