We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
