Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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