Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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