Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I had to cum in my sink.
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