dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
