I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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