So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
