At least make sure they are 18
Why
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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