And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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