It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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