the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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