Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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