3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
