nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm both gender and math confused
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
