dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
