Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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