Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
