Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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