Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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