I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize