Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
