did you get engaged???
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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