i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
