The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
