I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
