i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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