my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
