I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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