I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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