Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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