can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
