the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
