Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she smelled like a LAN party
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
