Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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