well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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