So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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