The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cannot find my penis.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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