I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also, beer. Big fan.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
