It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
